


Skies Between Heartbeats

by missema



Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-10-30 22:00:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10885779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: Ryder's biggest problem in Andromeda isn't that she's been thrown into the role of Pathfinder, that all the hopes the Initiative had for the galaxy are a bust or that her new boyfriend is a shadowy criminal -- it's that she's not sure how to handle it all with her grief. With Scott still recovering in a coma, she's feeling isolated and weary as she lands in Kadara Port.Reyes is aware of all the missteps he's made with Juniper Ryder, and though he can't wish them away, he does try to make up for them. Sure, a lot of that involves sending her unsolicited equipment and mods for her favorite guns, but Andromeda is a hard galaxy to settle. It's the thought that counts, and he just wants Ryder to be safe. When she docks at his port scattered and in tears, he realizes that Ryder needs more than a few quick kisses in Tartarus and some ammo from him.





	1. Chapter 1

Kadara Port

Reyes had only been back in Kadara for a few hours before he got word that the Tempest had set her course and would dock there within the day. The news brought a smile to his face; he'd missed Ryder. There had only been a few weeks since her business had brought her through his port once again and though her emails were frequent, but it didn't stop him from wishing that she was with him more often.

One of these days, he'd surprise her on the Nexus and then they could really spend some of her shore leave together. She'd laughed when he suggested it the first time, because of Tann and his policy on exiles, but he'd been working on the director, being useful in a number of ways -- and Reyes had all sorts of favors to call in. Addison owed him several times over on her own, not considering the work he did with Kesh and Kandros. They could pretend all they wanted that they didn't need people like him, but they all knew that without the renewed contact Ryder made with the exiles, the Nexus would still be struggling. He could be living on the Nexus right now, if he so chose to deal with their inevitable blackouts to save power and the occasional food shortage, but Kadara and all this open space around it was much more interesting. Plus, he didn't like to leave the planet too often, just on principle. He couldn't run a place if he wasn't around to oversee it with his own eyes. Ryder may have made it habitable, but there was still a matter of maintaining the order and keeping everyone, exiles and colonists, alive. Keema did her part, but she left the real problems for him to solve.

"Reyes, can you come meet me on the Tempest? Also, today I miss peaches. Juniper." He looked down at the private channel on his omni-tool, the one that only a select few could access. The peaches were part of their code -- the way he knew if it was really her, and if she was in distress or not. If she needed him but wasn't free to say it, she'd ask him for a rhubarb pie. He didn't know what a rhubarb even was, but he was prepared to go in with his gun if she ever asked for one.

Truthfully, since his _friend_ ship with Zia had come to such a dramatic close, it was just Ryder that used the channel, but he was still cautious enough to use a codeword. It wasn't as if he'd made the channel just for her, but merely a coincidence that she was the only one who could use it now. Reyes reread the message, frowning at the display. It was just a text, no voice message at all from Ryder, and it raised his suspicions immediately, despite the use of the 'all clear' codeword. It wasn't like her to not come to Tartarus, but then again, she could be stuck on her ship if it were in need of repairs and all of her people were gone. She did often send them for shore leave whenever they docked in a friendly place, and even Addison sanctioned the outpost on Kadara -- that was as close to declaring it friendly as Addison would ever manage. It didn't hurt that he made sure Ryder would be safe here, that her crew and any Nexus ships headed towards the colony got to where they needed to be. None of that made him completely trust the message, but he didn't have to just take it on blind hope.

As luck would have it, Reyes wasn't without eyes of his own in Kadara Port. It took only one call for him to find out that the Pathfider was indeed on her ship, alone. The rest of her crew, even the doctor, had gone about their business on the surface. Dr. Lexi and the most of the rest of them were on their way to the colony site, Ditaeon. The colony was still trying to push off the ground but they needed the help extra hands could provide and the morale boost of seeing the Tempest crew. The crew left the port stocked up with some medical kits and other supplies they could spare, but Juniper hadn't disembarked with them. Whether or not she'd sent him the message was to be determined but with her crew on shore leave, he decided it was a risk worth taking. Worst case, she'd be surprised to see him. As that crossed his mind, Reyes made a note to get a bottle of something decent from the bar before heading to the ship. If he was surprising her, he had a least better do it right.

"Keema, has the Pathfinder docked yet?" he asked. He and Keema had their own private comm channel, but little more than business ever occurred over it. What happened on the line between he and Ryder was another story, and just to reassure himself that it stayed that way, he made certain that the private channel for Ryder was closed and encrypted, even as he kept Keema's open. Reyes made sure to check in with Keema before he went out of most of his business, just to be safe. Keema did well enough managing Kadara's more superficial aspects but his hand was felt in everything, and she needed to know where he'd be. They worked surprisingly well together, at least for the moment. He hoped it would continue -- it would be awfully hard to explain to Evfra if he had to make new arrangements.

"Her people have already left for Ditaeon, except for Vetra and Drack," Keema reported back to him. "But there's been no sightings of the Pathfinder."

"I expect to be indisposed for some time. Personal business with the Pathfinder. I'll be on her ship," Reyes said, pretending not to hear the small laugh from Keema that came over the comms.

"You can just say she's your-"

"I'll speak with you later," Reyes said, cutting her off and then closing the channel. Ever since she'd met Ryder, Keema had been offering him bits of advice on his new relationship, but Reyes wasn't in the mood to hear it just then. Some of it may have actually been good, but none of it mattered at the moment. Keema's advice or whatever she wanted to say slipped from his mind as he thought about finally seeing Ryder again. It had been a few weeks, and they didn't get to talk as regularly as he'd like. He had missed her, and not even business had kept her from his thoughts. Ryder must have stayed behind to wait for him on her ship. With a little more certainty that he was going to see Ryder and not walking into some elaborate trap, Reyes went to find the least offensive alcohol he could get his hands on and make his way to the Tempest.

#

Scout was crying, and she'd been at it for most of the way to Kadara. One moment she'd be fine, just reading her email or talking with the crew, and the next she'd lose all her control, tears spilling down her face. When she was busy, out in the field, she didn't miss them so much. Her mind didn't get the chance to play the broken memories of her father's final moments back to her over and over again. The down times, when she wasn't planetside or on the Nexus, she missed Scott. He was the only one that actually knew her as Scout here in Andromeda, though Cora had taken to calling her by her nickname as well. It was probably something Cora'd picked up from working with Alec Ryder, but to everyone else she was Juniper Ryder, Pathfinder. 

The Pathfinder was a symbol, the one that was supposed to find them all a home, bring the arks back, make Heleus work for them, blah blah. Her father was the Pathfinder, she was just filling in, and everyone knew it. She was barely even Juniper most days; she felt like that name was a lie -- most of the time she was Scout, the childhood moniker that she'd insisted upon because she'd hated her name growing up. She'd wanted her name to be more like her brother's so they could share that too, and Juniper was a berry, it wasn't even a real name. Nevermind that it had also belonged to a grandmother, several generations back in her lineage; that sort of thing never matter to kids, and it hadn't to her. Everyone in her unit had called her Scout back in her peacekeeping days, until those came to an abrupt close. It was only now, in Andromeda, that her real name started to feel like it might begin to fit her. It didn't hurt to hear Reyes say it in his lyrical accent and a wicked light in his eyes just for her. Juniper almost sounded sweet coming from his lips.

If only her brother was able to be here, to talk to, to help her grieve and understand. But no, he was still in his strange coma, locked inside of his own body and unavailable to her, even with their SAM link. A horrible guilt engulfed her when she thought of the way their conversation had ended. He was laying there, wondering if he was dreaming that their dad was dead and that Heleus was a huge bust. There had been no easy way to tell him, but to not say anything seemed worse, like she was playing into a false hope that would be a huge comedown when he was finally up and walking around. The thought of his strange, frozen grief and confusion made her dissolve into tears once more. Maybe she should have just lied to him, but that had never been their way.

Without really knowing why, she'd sent a message to Reyes, asking him to meet her on the Tempest, altering her usual routine of meeting him in his private room at Tartarus. Her nose was too stuffy to allow her to send a voice message and be understood, so she just sent text. It only occurred to her afterward that Reyes might rightfully be suspicious, so had Vetra tell the dock manager that her crew was all on shore leave. He'd figure it out. Maybe she should have waited, gotten herself together first and gone to see him, but honestly, she wasn't sure she was going to be able to pull it together again.

"Are you all right, Pathfinder?" SAM asked.

"I don't know. I miss Scott and my father," Ryder answered. "It's harder on days like this, ones without the action planetside or the searching for the arks. But I'll manage, I have to."

"Your father experienced grief in a similar way, working in excess in the days after your mother was first diagnosed and after she died."

"It's pretty common way to deal with things, to not let them get too far into your head. Problem is, sometimes you're protecting yourself and sometimes you're just running. It's hard to know which is which," She admitted. She wasn't sure which she was doing most of the time, but it felt like a little of both. Scout sighed and got up from the bed she'd been hiding in since before they'd docked at Kadara.

She went to take a quick shower, telling SAM to alert her when Reyes showed up. As she pulled her hair up into a twisted bun atop her head, Scout willed herself to stop crying. It wouldn't help anything, she knew, but grief was funny about how it didn't care if it helped or not. She missed her dad so fiercely. He'd been awkward, too involved in his work and never quite the support system she'd seen in sitcoms, but the love had been there, always. Scott understood, and was probably the only person that would even come close to feeling the same way she did.

Everyone else lost a Pathfider, a leader, an icon, but she'd lost her dad because he'd saved her life. Her life, her broken helmet, his decision. It was too much, so much to bear. She needed to talk to Scott about it, to lean on his shoulder and let her brother share the weight. They'd be Scout and Scotty again soon, even if it was only the two of them that understood what that meant.


	2. Chapter 2

"I hope you don't mind that it isn't Mount Milgrom we're sharing this time," Reyes said as Ryder let him aboard the Tempest. No one had noticed him at the docks except for the dock manager Colt, and he'd made himself absent as soon as Reyes had indicated that he wasn't there for business. Still, he had to be careful, not many knew he was in a relationship with Ryder, and he wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible.

"Hey Reyes. You brought a present?" she asked, grinning at him. Her greeting smile was the most welcome sight he'd seen in several weeks. She took the bottle from him and set it aside, into what looked like an open locker where it would be out of the way.

She pulled him in for a quick kiss that turned into a much longer one than he'd intended, but filled him with warmth. She'd missed him too, and this welcome was better than just saying it. There was nothing like kissing Ryder, at least, nothing he'd yet experienced, and his past was colorfully varied, even for a smuggler. She made his hands reach to pull her closer, stifling a groan of pleasure he felt all the way down to his toes. When she started to move away, he had the pleasant disorientation that came from being short of breath in the best way possible.

Reyes began to smile at Juniper, but she pushed him up against the wall, pinning him there with the fierceness of another kiss. He could feel the too quick beat of her heart through the fabric of her shirt, and though he was enjoying himself, starting to get the sense that something more was going on than Ryder simply greeting him.

When they broke apart again for a breath, he put his arm around her, pulling her in at an angle. She could kiss him again, and he would let her if she wanted, but his intention was to keep her close so there was no hiding. Reyes looked down at her, the sleek black hair she normally wore up and out of the way but left to flow loose around her shoulders, the artful wings of makeup ringing her hazel eyes -- eyes that were almost the same color as his own. He liked those eyes, they didn't lie to him.

"What's going on, Juniper?" he asked, careful to keep his voice soft.

She shrugged, looking away, but he tipped her face back to meet his gaze. He knew she'd try not to answer. Ryder was fearless in many things, he'd seen her fight, but whenever they got too close there was a spark of fear in the depths of her eyes.

"Do you want to see the ship?" she asked, the hopeful note in her voice a clear attempt to be cheerful as she presented the obvious change of subject. She was so uncomfortable with his question that he could feel it rolling off of her in waves. Reyes looked at her, watched her gaze look everywhere but right at him. The makeup was freshly applied, but underneath her skin was blotchy, and dull. Maybe she'd been ill or just tired, exhausted from being the Pathfinder. He couldn't tell, but her eyes were suspiciously bright, as if she'd put drops in them recently. She would have if she'd been sick or crying. Her hair was damp and she smelled clean, and he wondered why she'd taken the time to shower this time.

He nodded down at her, then he conceded to plea she was conveying between her words. "Sure, Ryder, show me the Tempest," he said. Relief nearly had her crumpling in his embrace, but she finally met his eyes when she smiled. He would get nothing by pushing her, and she definitely needed to talk. It had to be on her terms, not his, and he was patient enough to wait.

Reyes turned towards the door that led into the ship proper and held out his hand. Juniper took it and started into an improvised monologue about the ship. He'd never been on the Tempest, but he knew it. As part of the prep to come to Andromeda, he'd been trained on all the ships they were taking, not just the shuttles he wound up on. Before the Hyperion had shown up, he was a Nexus pilot, one of the first wave to wake up and they'd optimistically begun their refresher training courses with the Pathfinder ships, like the Tempest. When it looked like no arks or Pathfinders were going to make it, necessity demanded that they use shuttles, trying to navigate the Scourge and outrun the kett long enough to get what they needed to survive. Ryder was still asleep on the Hyperion while he'd been awakened not long after the Nexus got to Heleus. She couldn't know that his technical knowledge of her ship was probably more extensive than her own, but he wasn't about to point it out. He just kept his hand in hers, holding onto it as she showed him the tech lab.

#

She wasn't even sure what she was saying, just that Reyes was holding her hand and wasn't a demanding audience. He'd make a comment here or there, ask about what they did on the ship in general terms, but he never really interrupted her. Mostly, Juniper thought he was just talking to calm her down. It was working, even if she wasn't exactly sure why she was upset in the first place.

Reyes was just himself, same as he'd always been with her, in whatever way that it mattered. The problem was how she felt today. It had been a mistake to ask him here, to hope that a few hours of his slow kisses and the warmth of his arms might chase away her tears and isolation. Whatever it was that they had was so new, it didn't feel right dumping all of her grief onto him and then flying away to the next thing, another planet or outpost or whatever needed her attention. Even if she did, she couldn't be sure how he'd react. Would have listen patiently, as polite as ever, and then let his correspondence slow to a trickle? Or could he just decide that it was worth it to stop all at once, that whatever was good between them wasn't worth all of this, all of her? Maybe her hope was well-placed and Reyes was the man she needed him to be, at least in this respect.

There was no way to tell, but there was only so much ship to show. After she finished her tour of the mess, there were only her quarters left to see. Pathfinder quarters, not really meant for her. She let him into the overly large space without describing it and Reyes offered to go back up and fetch the bottle he'd brought with him. Juniper assented, not sure what else to do now. Looking out of the window in her cabin, she only turns around when she hears the doors admit Reyes, with a bottle in hand a grin on his face.

"That's a nice view of the docks," he quipped and chuckled. She hadn't really been looking out of them, just staring. The windows were always private, Ryder never had to worry that anyone could see in. For her own sake, they could turn black or just opaque white, letting the light in but not the sights. Most of the time, Ryder just liked them to be windows. She turned towards him, inclining her head back at scene of the port where she was docked.

"How's Kadara Port doing? I didn't have a chance to ask you earlier."

"We still have some Outcast holdouts, people like Kaetus that are loyal to Sloane, but they're fewer in number. They think they're clever. There was some trouble with sabotage, but nothing we couldn't handle," Reyes admitted. He was standing at her couch, opening the bottle on the coffee table strewn with books. "Do you have cups or is this like before?"

She smiled. "I've got cups." Within moments she's got her own glass of whatever it was he's brought her, and sips it. It's got a dark, smokey, flavor with just a hint of sweetness that's all but lost in the potency of it.

"What is this?" she asked. Reyes hasn't taken a drink yet, he's just holding the cup in his hand, watching her.

"Cognac. It's not as old as I would prefer, but the reserves are dwindling."

"Too much celebrating?" she asked, and took another drink.

"You've never had cognac before," he said, smiling at her as if he'd told a joke. She shook her head in confirmation. "Let it sit in your hand and warm up for a few minutes. It brings out the flavor." It had escaped her notice before, but his gloves were next to him on the couch, hands unusually bare as they held the bottom of his glass.

They said nothing for a moment after that, but she could feel the scrutiny of his eyes. When she was about to look up, to ask him why, Reyes was right there in front of her. She hadn't felt him move closer. He was within arms reach of her, but when she did reach out it was an unconscious decision, just a need to touch him. Her drink-free hand rested on his knee, and Reyes put his own over hers. 

The silence started out expectant, as if he were waiting for her to say something that obvious, but her mind was blank as she sat there, curling her fingers around his. Around them the quiet changed, tightening into something strangely unbalanced and charged. Juniper wasn't sure who leaned forward first, but she was kissing Reyes again without even moving her drink. Her body was careful as she tried not to disturb the remainder of her cognac, curving herself so she could be close to Reyes. This kiss was more delicate than her last, desperate kiss, the one where she'd been trying to keep herself from saying too much, from crying on a shoulder that she wasn't sure was really there for her to begin with. Reyes was gentle, his hand removed from hers and drawing her closer with a slight pressure to her lower back. Aside from that press, he was almost leisurely as he kissed her, as if he and his lips had hours of nothing planned but to see where this took them.

But it ended and Juniper was back to just holding her glass, looking down at the pool of dark liquid in the bottom of her glass. Reyes finally took up his own drink, and she though she noticed the reverence with which he imbibes, she didn't understand the significance. His eyes closed as he first took a deep inhale before drinking. To mask her staring, Juniper took another sip of her own cognac, surprised that the flavor had changed somewhat since her first, hasty mouthful.

"Ryder, how are you?" Reyes asked. The question wasn't unexpected, but his tone was as gentle as their last kiss. There's care in his voice, and for a second she wanted to let herself hope that she wasn't just imagining it.

"If I said fine, would you believe me?" she asked, grinning wryly as she did. Her expression must not have come off as she'd hoped, because Reyes frowned at her after she said it, then tried to cover it by taking another drink from his glass.


End file.
